An Introduction to Reactive Attachment Disorder

This is my first blog post and I'm nervous. I am about to share my thoughts and feelings- both good and bad, with anyone that chooses to visit my blog. Five and a half years ago my family added two young brothers to our family. They were adopted from the state department of social services. It has been a long and not entirely enjoyable journey and will continue to be for years to come. But it is a journey that we have committed ourselves to, the same as hundreds of other families around the globe. I need to clarify up front that I am not a therapist, nor do I have any type of degree that would label me an expert. I am a parent, that is all, that is enough.  This blog is for all of us. A place to find support and comfort, to be able to voice our frustrations without judgement, and a place where you can find other people that can truly understand your situation. Welcome.

A little background on my family: I have been married to my wonderful husband for 27 years. We have four adult children (3 boys, 1 girl) as well as the two younger boys. Our oldest son is 28, married and father of a set of adorable twins- 1 boy and 1 girl. Son #2 is 25, married, and lives in Austin, TX. Son #3 and our only daughter are 21-year-old twins. He is in the Marine Corps, just finished a tour in Afghanistan, and is stationed in Twenty-nine Palms, CA. Our daughter is a college student, full-time polysomnographic (sleep study) technician studying for her boards, and lives close to home. Our two youngest are biological brothers and are now 13 & 12 years old. Of course our family would not be complete without our two dogs, Hallie- a Boston terrier, and Chili- a miniature Dachshund (kudos to those of you that can figure out the reason for that name!). Quiet is never an adjective used to describe our home!

For those of you  that do not understand  what Reactive Attachment Disorder is or came looking for information, here is a short overview. The Mayo Clinic (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-attachment-disorder/DS00988) defines it as a "rare but serious condition in which infants and young children don't establish healthy bonds with parents or caregivers". The most commonly associated cause of RAD is trauma, abuse, and neglect as an infant or young child. But there are many other situations that can interrupt the bonding process between infant and caregiver: premature birth, postpartum depression of mom after birth, early separation from mother, frequent changes in caregivers, severe illness or chronic pain (e.g., severe colic), caregivers that ignore the infant, and hospitalization or extensive medical procedures. This lack of bonding gives rise to a host of negative behaviors, which I will talk about in a later post. The Mayo Clinic states it is "rare", but I haven't seen one foster or older adoptive child that doesn't have some level of attachment issue caused by their past.

This is going to be my story, but I welcome your  input, comments, and support. So often we as parents or family members, feel so alone. There is a wonderful video made by the Attachment and Trauma Network that helps describe our lives to others, take the time to listen, you will be enlightened. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JuIbWu6-Tg

Talk to you next time!