Baby Steps

Hello again. Wow! This week has been crazy! I'd like to respond to a couple of comments that I have received.

Lisa:
You are not alone. Day after endless day of rejection, out-of-control behaviors, and verbal as well as physical abuse takes it's toll on even the strongest of humans. The fact that you have hung in there for 8 years speaks volumes about the type of person you are. Committed, persistent (I would say stubborn, but it has such negative connotations!), and a heart for love, even if you feel like you have no love there anymore. I would say these are characteristics of most adoptive parents whose children suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder. Please know that I understand your feelings of exhaustion and hopelessness! I have gone through times of not only doubting that I love my boys, but that I might actually hate them. This will sound terrible to those people out there that have not lived with a RAD child, but let me assure you that it is not unusual when you are on the receiving end of days filled with turmoil. There were days I would be angry with the boys just because they were there. It is hard to not be angry when 5 minutes after they assault you, they are giggling and laughing over some trivial thing while you feel you are dying inside.

You found somewhere you can share and be understood! Please feel free to comment anytime you need to have someone "get it".

Terrandipity:
I am so grateful that you have chosen to follow my blog and use it as a tool. Please don't think that the behaviors my boys have will be absolutes for your foster child. My boys were six and seven when they came to our home. They had experienced several caregivers over the years as well as abuse inflicted by their birth parents. Even with the fact that they are biological siblings with the same background, they are nothing alike. Their manifestations of RAD are the same in some areas, but at opposite ends of the spectrum with others. One can become aggressive and vocal when agitated, while the other will shut down immediately and not speak at all. Consequences do not work the same for both either, which is not unlike any biological siblings. For one we take away video games, while the other is not allowed to go outside. I am hopeful that your foster child was removed from his biological parents before too much trauma was allowed to occur and that he is young enough to still have the critical time to attach to a caregiver.

I hope you continue to follow my blog and ask if you have any questions for me. I cannot guarantee an answer, but I will do my best to be as open and honest as possible!

THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HAS READ AND FOLLOWED MY POSTS!  I appreciate each and every one of you.

                                   Life is so much easier with support from your friends.